Mydentity: Man Man, or Human? To be or not to be an OWG!

Thanks to the many old white guys who have, from time immemorial, felt the need to piss all over the world and didn't learn to take turns and share, many of their self fulfilling prophecies have come true. People are tired of hearing the "Old White Guy" slant on everything. The only ways around that are to qualify your old white guyness in such a way as to make it more something else than it is old white guyness, or be a Republican. People who become Republicans fear the changes and slam their gears into reverse, with cataclysmic consequences. If you've ever witnessed the results of a car being slammed into reverse when all the momentum of that car was headed in the direction of social justice, modernization, inclusiveness, and so on, you know what I mean. That car lurches, the transmission flies apart, gears go whizzing through the air, fluids splatter all over the ground, horrible noises replace the whir of the engine, and mobs attack the seat of democracy to overthrow the government. It's tragic. I don't feel the need to throw the car into reverse. So I will choose this time to accentuate the things about me that are not just old white guy. I can join the world of choosing to self identify. Don't worry old white guys, you will be relevant again soon enough, within the spectrum of relevance, and as part of the whole. Besides, you actually still hold all the power, a situation which is being addressed. But until then, your province is not as the focal point of social interest, not to be praised and your back scratched, but instead to catch you doing something old white guyish, like sexual harassment, or bank fraud, or starting a war. I'm OK with that, because I am more than just an old white guy. I identify first and mostly as hu-man, not man man. 

I realize your situation. For century after screwed up century, there was an idea pushed on the world, the idea that the delicate mechanisms of society relied on all the little man levers lifting the man packages and delivering them to the world for all to see and revere. The idea included, but was not limited to, "white men accomplished all the good things." Of course, honor and glory seemed to ride hand in hand in that wobbly cart, sloshing around in the spilled blood of conquest. Anyone not able to beat the shit out of their goals, which included the goals of dominating other humans, of building empires, of the often self serving concept of legacy, was deemed irrelevant. The narrative was such that all the work done by all the people who didn't want the shit beat out of them was credited to the old white guys, the top of that fucked up food chain. Sure, there were exceptions. Cling to those if you need to. But the skids of society, as envisioned by OWGs was that. And it was powerful. Powerful because of the hell it offered if anyone refused to go along with it. But powerful. The world spun into that gravity well of violence, of plundering the fortunes of the unfortunate. Might makes right. Right?

How does someone escape that gravity? Let me mansplain that for you OWGs: Respecting self identification is paramount to ones own self identification.  For instance, "mansplaining." If you are given the opportunity to sit around a meeting table with, oh let's say, nine men and one woman, try putting aside your man man identity for a minute, and put on your hu-man identity, and listen to what happens. Sure, there are exceptions. But bringing up the exceptions is part of the problem. The math is against it. And if you want to be in touch with truth, math is pretty solid. But at that table, where there are nine men and one woman, watch what happens. I've been there. And it's really weird. She will come up with a good idea, say it out loud where everyone should be able to hear. Some sort of mystical dumbfounded moment occurs. Her words will hover around in the ether as the discussion moves on, then somehow, after only mere seconds pass, her ideas magically coalesce as the ideas of one of the men. At which point it becomes super relevant, as if the other men literally couldn't hear what the woman was saying when it was said the first time. Again, and to sooth your hurt feelings, yes, there are exceptions. And again, math. The statistics don't lie. And I have witnessed this many times. Is this a survival strategy certain men developed through evolution? Hey, we can debate that. But it happens, sure as shit! And it's really weird to watch. Then watch as one of the men, an exception to the other men, if you need to think that, explains her own idea back to her. And then watch, as the other men, all riding the coattails of the previous millennia of shit beating sit by and don't call out the "exception." In that moment, are you more man man, or hu-man? Do you see the person who just had their idea stolen as a person who had their idea stolen. Or do you feel yourself snuggling up into the safe circle of shit beaters? It's a hard call for some, I guess. But that's the moment you should let your psyche live in for a while, until you figure it out, if you want to understand. Figuring it out will give you a more mathematical, statistical view of "exceptions." 

There are millions of moments similar to the one I mentioned above that revolve around your OWGness. That is from the perspective of you. That's OK. But understand that that's the center of you. It's not the center of societal identity anymore. When someone introduces themself to you using the pronouns by which they identify, it really doesn't revolve around you... But, how you respond? YES! There you go! You have agency there! You can respond as someone who doesn't respect self identification, or someone who does. But before you go off disrespecting another's identity, you have to realize that yours is only yours, theirs is theirs, whether you like it or not. You truly have no idea whether the person you are speaking with FEELS one way or another about themselves. It's not your place to judge how another person sees themselves, how another person identifies, how another person IS in or about themselves. That's tough for a shit beater to understand. But to make it simple, the beaten are beating back at that ignorance. So shit beaters will have to deal with shit beating if they try to beat shit out of change. Not everybody has a violent ignorance about change though. There seems to be an average OWG, who just "Doesn't get it." That's actually OK too. The funny thing is, when you get past the bulk of prejudice, you realize peoples are peoples. You will encounter assholes and sweethearts. Those come in all shapes and sizes. There's no guarantee that someone who identifies in a way you "don't get" is going to be a sweetheart and explain it to you. But some will.

As someone who identifies as hu-man first, and man man as part of a strong mix of self, I enjoy meeting new people and trying to understand them, and hear their stories. Sure, I'm an OWG. But I choose to recognize the "so much more" of me. If you present that to the world, you'll feel better about yourself. Will you encounter assholes who don't get you? Gosh... I guess so. So what. Be true to yourself. Be good to others. It's important to learn the lessons so many have had to learn. People HAD to learn, because the old shit beating lessons actually taught that everyone loses. They made those who didn't fit into that format realize that you need to be OK within yourself. Fuck what others say, if they don't get it. You won't have the adulation or deference of just being the OWG. You may even get some asshole uncalled for condemnations or even sweetheart push-back. But again, and gosh, life has no guarantees. Find good friends. That's always been tough, for everyone.

-Yours Truly, In a Concerted Effort to NOT Fuel Facebook with My Rants, 

Lee